When I was in my mid 40's

 

When I was in my mid 40's I went through a Punk Rock phase. Don't ask me why.

OK, I'll tell you why. I was dating this crazy 20 year old Chinese punk rock girl. You crazy man, you're thinking. I agree, I agree..

She was into snow boarding too.

We used to go to little punk rock clubs in Los Angeles. She and I would get into the mosh pit and mosh it up.

I know, I know..

The first winter that we were dating we went snow boarding.

Snow boarding looks like a blast right? I rented the board and got all strapped in. I took the lift up to the top of the bunny slope. I launched myself off and went down about 100 feet, gaining speed, and crashed. I remember actually hearing my ankle go POP! as it broke. It hurt extremely badly.

My young Chinese friend came zooming down the slope, doing a couple of cool zigzags, and then came to a beautiful stop right over me.

"Are you OK Cole?" She asked, looking down at me.

The rescue team showed up. I made it back to Los Angeles and the surgeons put metal pins in my ankle. To this day the bells go off when I try to board an airplane.

I was out of commission for the rest of that snow season but when the next season came around I decided to be a bit saner.

"Lee Ping," I said, "This time I think I'm just going to try regular skiing."

"OK, cool." She said.

We returned to the slopes and I rented the skis. I went up the bunny slope again. 100 feet later I crashed and this time I broke my arm. Don't ever let anyone tell you that broken bones don't hurt. They do.

It all happened so quickly. Lee Ping was still on the lift going up to the top of the advanced suicide slope. She later told me that as she was riding up, she looked down, and saw a large crowd of people. Then she realized that crowd was surrounding me.

The surgeons did an external fixation to the bones of my arm. It was God awful. When I woke up from the surgery I found my arm in this mechanical device with metal pins going through my skin and into the bones. I had to wear that for two months.

One of the nurses at the hospital said to me, "Dr. Clark, no more, please." She looked at me with honest concern, "Don't even eat a snow cone, Ok?"

I think the high water mark of my Punk Rock period had to have been when Lee Ping and I went to Lollapalooza.

I should have known it was going to be a bad day. Right off the bat when we got there Green Day was playing and Lee Ping and I started moshing and some little fucker ran up and punched me right in the rib cage. That hurt! I stood there for about 5 minutes holding my ribs and trying to concentrate on just breathing.

But the pain went away and the show moved on. We saw L7, who I still love actually.  And there were more acts and then...

The act we were waiting for was the Beasty Boys. Oh Yah! That was the act Lee Ping and I had come for. We wormed our way to the front of the crowd. If you don't know Lollapalooza, let me tell you, there was a crowd of about 50 bazillion crazy youths there. Close your eyes for a second and imagine. Yah.

Lee Ping and I wormed our way forward and succeeded in getting all the way to the front. Then the Beasty Boys came on and the show started.

And suddenly, the crowd of 50 bazillion surged forward. The Beasty boys didn't try to build up to a climax. From the first note it was a loud and aggressive musical torrent. And Lee Ping and I were in the middle of a crushing mass of sweaty drug crazed teenage hormone driven frenzy.

Here's something I didn't tell you. You see, deep down I'm still a hippie from the sixties. I came to the music festival wearing shorts and sandals. Peace.

I rapidly realized that all the other guys, and girls, were wearing jackboots and my toes started getting stepped on. Stomped on!

Owwww!!!!

Things evolved rapidly. As my feet were getting stomped on, my upper body was being crushed. I tried to hold people off, but my arms started to get weak. And my feet.. Oh God, my toes! I pushed to stay up but my legs started to get tired. I remember my legs beginning to shake.

I started to go down. I realized that once I went to the ground, the entire crowd of 50 bazillion was going to stomp all over me.

I started screaming, "Help! Help! Help! Help!"

I was terrified.

And then about four or five of those big guys grabbed me, picked me up, and threw me over the fence.

Honest.

I flew over the fence and landed on the ground. Kerplunk..

I lay there, on my back, for quite some time, trying to catch my breath. I hurt all over. As I looked upward I saw Lee Ping.

"Are you OK Cole?" She asked, looking down at me.

It wasn't until the next day that I was able to fully assess the damage to my toes. I was amazed to see that most of my toenails were broken. My toenails were broken. That had never happened to me before.

Wurd.

 

Miami 2006

.